Getting help is faster and easier than it seems with getcerebral
More resources, including international options, are listed at the bottom of this page.
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Paradise Lost
Paradise. There’s no other way to explain it. As I looked around the beautiful house we were renting on the beach in Costa Rica. The brand-new pool and hot tub were perfect, I spent hours reading in a hammock in the palapa or hanging out with my kids and husband, and we had the most absolutely perfect weather. We basically had the beach to ourselves because it was lined with private homes instead of resorts. It was a much-needed break from the constant hustle of life for a family of 8 and our own business. I didn’t even have to cook! Paradise found!
Which made me feel that much more ashamed that I was sobbing. I had nothing to be sad about. Everything was…perfect. So why was I so miserable?
I’ve shared about my struggle with depression before, but that was when I had hit absolute rock-bottom, and I believed my family would be better off without me. That was the first time I recognized my depression; that’s how far I had to fall to see it. And when I didn’t feel THAT BAD anymore, I thought I wasn’t depressed anymore.
I discovered a couple of things that made me sink that low: the MTHFR gene mutation and being estrogen dominant. Those were both easy fixes. Two vitamins a day (I take DIM Enhanced for the estrogen and Methyl B Complete for MTHFR, and I still need both) took care of those and made me feel so much better! But when you come out of hell, the Sahara Desert feels like a tropical destination.
If I couldn’t be happy in paradise, something was wrong. All the feelings I had chalked up to stress, a busy life, caring for a big family, etc., were still with me even when the reasons weren’t. I was not ok.
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How Did Depression and Anxiety Feel for Me?
Everything felt like an attack, everything felt hard, every task a mountain to move. My tolerance for noise and movement and life were extremely low, and I spent as much time alone as possible because I didn’t want to be grouchy with my kids and husband. Everyday I felt overwhelmed and overloaded.
I worried about everything, things that had already happened, things that were happening, things that might happen. Every day was crisis mode when there usually weren’t crises, and I was running around with a fire hose putting out matches.
I felt like a failure at everything; I was failing my kids, failing my husband, failing my customers, failing my community. I couldn’t be enough for anyone, much less everyone, which would drive me to push myself even harder or give up because it was pointless.
Sometimes I cried myself to sleep because I had failed everyone that day, but mostly because I felt like I had failed my kids. I didn’t talk much, I avoided people, and I thought everyone could see what a failure I was, and they were judging me.
So many times I told Adam I felt like I was in a glass prison; I could see and hear everything going on around me, but I couldn’t participate.
When it got really bad this last year, I reverted to wearing all black every day for nearly a year. I even stopped wearing colored lipstick and moved to a nude lip because I could not tolerate wearing color.
When did this Start?
I wasn’t like this as a child. Listening to my mom describe me in my early years, I was vibrant, talkative, very social. She would say if no one else was around, I would talk to the doorknob. I made friends everywhere I went, loved attention, and I sparkled. If I look back through pictures, I can remember that little girl, but she disappeared around the age of 10 or 11, and I’ve talked to my husband so many times about it. What happened to her? Where did she go? One of our daughters is very much like I was, and whatever happened to me, I don’t want it to happen to her.
Because I’m not a doctor or mental health professional, I can’t verify or prove this, but I believe it changed when my hormones did. Once puberty set in, so did my depression and anxiety. I’ve been living this way for more than 30 years. During that time I’ve had low, lower, and lowest, and I thought low and lower were how everyone felt. I probably seemed like your typical surly teenager.
It definitely got a lot worse in the last decade or so, and I chalked a lot of it up to being an introvert. This has gone on for so long that this was my normal, and it didn’t have to be.
Does this mean I was NEVER happy, calm, or content the last few decades? No, it doesn’t. I had my highs, but they were the exception and short-lived, and my lows were what I thought was normal for everyone else.
So I’m Depressed and/or Anxious. Now What?
Depression is a wall you cannot force your way under, over, around, or through alone. It’s a chemical imbalance in your brain, and while there is still some stigma to it, that is changing quickly. There is no shame in needing medication. You wouldn’t try to keep your chin up and push through with a broken leg, would you? No! You’d go get medical help.
Depression is a liar, and some of the lies it tells is that people will judge you, this is just how you are, needing medication means you’re weak and other people wouldn’t need help with this, you just need to try harder. And the worst lie of all? You’re fine. Everything is FINE. Those messages are all false, and if this is how you are feeling, you’re not alone. According to the National Institute of Mental Health nearly 1 in 5 U.S. adults lives with mental illness.
When I hit rock-bottom several years ago, I was afraid to tell anyone because I didn’t know what would happen if I told the truth. Once I did get out of that hole, I promised myself I would never hide it again, and I have a short list of people I can go to and say, “I’m not OK.” That’s my code phrase that feels safe enough to say, but my people know what it means.
My husband is the first one on my list, and theoretically could be my only one, but remember when I said depression is a liar? There have been times I believed he didn’t love me and would be better off without me because I was unlovable. If I went to someone else on my list, they knew to contact him, and he would get to me and get me help.
I wasn’t at rock-bottom this year, but I was close. When I went to Adam and told him I was depressed, his response was, “Let’s get help. Right now.” But I couldn’t. Anxiety paralyzed me and the very thought of trying to find a provider who specialized in mental health, the long waiting time to get in, the process of trying different meds and doses shut me down. I couldn’t do it, so he took over.
After searching for providers in our new area, he discovered an online company called GetCerebral, which is a telehealth company with qualified professionals that specialize in treating depression, anxiety, and insomnia. The real selling point was that of the appointments are on your phone/computer by video, so no need to add extra effort into traveling to and from appointments. He couldn’t do the online evaluation for me, so all he could do was encourage me to do it. Over. And over. And over again.
Even that felt hard, but I’m here to tell you how very, very easy and fast it was so you can get help, too. I feel so strongly that people need to know how easily and fast they can get help. It is readily available. This was the obstacle I thought I couldn’t overcome before my husband found this option for me.
I’m not a doctor or mental healthcare professional, and this post isn’t meant to diagnose or treat anything. I’m sharing my experience so you can find professional help as quickly as possible.
Get Fast Help for Depression and Anxiety with getcerebral
On a Saturday morning in August, I finally went to the GetCerebral website. It took about 10 minutes total. I took the standard depression/anxiety/insomnia screen by answering some questions. The results revealed my depression was moderately severe, and my anxiety was severe.
I’ve talked about anxiety and feeling anxious, but I’d never been diagnosed with anxiety, so I was surprised that it scored even higher than the depression. The truth is they feed each other. According to this article, it’s very much a chicken and egg situation.
After my results, I was offered three treatment plan options that provide different combinations of medication and online therapy. I went for the all-inclusive plan to start out so I could come at this with as much help as possible. Then I was given a few choices of qualified and professional providers, including pictures and short bios to read. Instead of getting too into the details, I mostly went with a gut feeling and I chose women because I felt like I could be more open and honest with a woman.
Then a calendar popped up and I could get a virtual appointment with my prescriber as soon as 9 a.m. the following Monday. Less than 48 hours! That can vary for you, but I was so happy to have an appointment so soon. Next I chose a therapist and made an appointment a little later in the week with her. And the best part was I didn’t even have to leave my house for any of it.
My First Appointments
On Monday my prescriber, who I adore, spent an hour with me via video chat, talking, understanding my medical history, how I was feeling, what side effects would be dealbreakers, and by the end she offered a few medication options that work for both depression and anxiety, but recommended one over the others for both its effectiveness and fewer side effects. It was my choice, but I followed her recommendation.
She was very clear that I may need to try multiple medications and doses before I found that sweet spot, warned me of the possible side effects and complications, and what to be watching for.
That morning she sent in my prescription, I picked it up that day and took my first dose. She cautioned me this type of medication needs time to build up in your system, and it can take 4-6 weeks to feel the full effects. On the third day I woke up feeling…lighter, like I’d taken off a heavy backpack. Each day I felt a little better, and by the end of the first month I felt so fantastic it actually freaked me out.
The changes were so dramatic, I started having an identity crisis. I did not recognize myself AT ALL, and it really scared me. Remember this picture?
I don’t remember a time after the age of 10 I would have willingly had my taken, taken a picture like that. EVER. Much less posted it on social media (which obviously didn’t exist then).
During my next virtual appointment with my prescriber a month later, I told her I was worried something was wrong because my behavior was so out of character – I was TOO HAPPY. Every moment felt like Christmas morning at its peak, and honestly, it was exhausting.
After talking through things, she said it’s just me being me for the first time in decades. I’ve now come down from that initial high to a more stable and sustainable happy, upbeat…freedom. That’s the only way to describe it.
I’ve had several appointments with my therapist. She’s great, the appointments were really valuable during this transition to medication, and I’ve gotten some great insights and ideas from her, but talk therapy isn’t the type of therapy I need now, so I’m searching for someone who provides the modality I’m after. I had a therapist I loved in Salt Lake who does provide that form of therapy, but she can’t treat across state lines.
How Do I Feel Now?
I feel great, actually. Everything seems manageable, but not to an extreme where I feel like I can do ANYTHING and take on too much. I still need quiet time, but I don’t want to be alone all the time. The noise and chaos of our daily life as a big family doesn’t shut me down or send me running to my room because the clank of silverware on dishes and chatter is too much. Every request, suggestion, and comment doesn’t feel like an attack. The past and future don’t torment me like they did, and I don’t fixate on everything that has or could go wrong.
If you know me, I’m not a hugger. Especially strangers. If I don’t know you very well, don’t touch me. Last week I was surrounded by strangers at a women’s retreat, and at first, I was right back where I started with the anxiety. But once my anxiety calmed down, and I was able to relax a bit I was handing out hugs like party favors, hugging and crying and telling everyone I loved them! And no, I don’t drink.
This was my assessment after one month on medication. Talk about a dramatic change!
Being on medication doesn’t mean I never feel sad or have emotions; I’m not numb. In fact, the last two weeks I was dealing with some things that were very difficult and emotional. I was pretty low again and was considering asking my prescriber if I need to increase my dose, which can be normal after your body adjusts. After walking through that fire and coming out the other side, I feel good again. I may still reach out to her to discuss it, but that was a very extreme and temporary situation that would pull anyone down.
I’ve been dying to share this with you, but I wanted to give it a couple of months to make sure I could fully recommend this company, and I can. My experience has been extremely positive, and it’s no exaggeration to say this changed my life. I’m out of my glass prison. The right medication was the key for me.
If you’re interested, GetCerebral has a referral program and if you sign up with my link you can receive your first month of GetCerebral mental health care for $25, and I get up to $200 in credits with them. I’m only sharing this link to help others get the discount, and to make this as easy and accessible as possible to everyone who needs it. There are more resources and some further research about GetCerebral below.
List of Resources and Research
- GetCerebral FAQ Page
- GetCerebral Review with Pros and Cons from Healthline
- Canadian Mental Health Association and Hotline
- Global Resource Options
The retreat I went to is called The Heart of a Women Retreat.
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5 thoughts on “How I Found Fast Anxiety and Depression Treatment with GetCerebral”
Thank you for your courage to share your story. I’m a retired Crisis Counselor and appreciate your openness on this topic.
My experience also has been that long term anxiety and depression seem to be the result of a chemical imbalance in the brain. I am not a medical professional but I can tell you that “trying harder” never worked for me. After a long time I too got medication and I finally feel like myself. I had to try a number of different combinations until the doctor and I found one that worked for me but it was all worth it. I don’t like to take medication. I rarely take aspirin, cold medicine, etc. But I will always take my anxiety and depression medicine. It is totally worth it. If anyone out there is suffering from anxiety and/or depression, it is not too late to try medication.
I’m so proud of you for getting the help you need. I’m doubly proud of you for sharing your story. Love love love love YOU! ❤️❤️❤️❤️
I’m so glad to hear you’re feeling great! You give so much to so many, and you deserve to feel your best while doing it.
Blessings to you April! May you continue to enjoy every day. thanks for sharing.
Hugs,
Peggy Ann