Has a milestone ever ever made you feel like you need to reinvent your style?
Is Change inevitable?
Ch-ch-ch-changes. They happen to all of us, and they can be fun but they can also turn us on our heads. We get jobs, become mothers, move across the country, and that can make us question everything about our identities, including our style.
What about birthdays? Something about entering a new decade makes us feel that somehow what was perfectly acceptable to wear YESTERDAY, is completely forbidden today and forever more.
On top of that, every season in the world of fashion, the council convenes and decides how to jerk the rug from under us just as we are starting to stand on our own by changing the trends AGAIN. Sometimes the changes are subtle, sometimes they rock our world, but they all leave us feeling a little insecure…and that is the point.
Style has been the one constantly changing thing throughout the centuries, and it dictates whether you are in or out. In or out of style, the club, the peer group, it is the line in the sand between acceptable and unacceptable…but why?
Life Changes
What is it about life changes that make us question our identity and style. Whether starting, changing, or ending a career, becoming a new mother or an empty-nester, marriage, divorce, moving across the country or across town, starting school or graduating, all of these things can turn your world upside down and make you question your identity, and with that, your style because it’s the outward representation of your identity.
Even if you knew your style before, suddenly you don’t. Whether your new lifestyle means new style needs, like going from the corporate world to a stay-at-home lifestyle, or something else has rocked your world, changing your style seems to be one of the first ways to try to gain control of your tailspinning life.
It feels easy and achievable BECAUSE YOU CAN BUY IT, but if you don’t have a solid foundation of your personal style, it can confuse things even more. The question comes up, “Everything is changing! Do I need to reinvent my style??”
The Answer Is…
No. If your new lifestyle means you need to dress your wardrobe up or down, you may need new items, but when you know the core elements of your style, it doesn’t change, you just apply it in a different way.
Whether I’m dressed up or casual, wearing workout clothes or swimwear, the core elements of my style are the same, just applied in a new way. My style is still neutrals punched up with bold colors, Minimal Classic with a dose of Edgy Classic style.
If I had to enter the corporate world tomorrow, got a job as a yoga teacher, or took up volunteer work at a pet shelter, I would know how to translate my style preferences to that new lifestyle and wardrobe because I know the core elements I love. They don’t change with the functionality of my clothes.
My Dressed up Style
My CAsual Style
My yoga style
Another Year Older (And Wiser Too?)
Besides life changes, there are other forces that can make you question your style. Candles. But not just any candles, the ones on your birthday cake. They multiply like tribbles, and they come with a dose of, “Now what do I wear?”
So each season when the changes, whether big or small, happen, an inner voice whispers, “Oh no! I was almost in, and now I’m out again! Do I need to reinvent my style??”.
Why have we let society convince us that just because we got another year older we have to change who we are, how we dress, and what we like?
There is a pervasive lie out there that says you have to change yourself, and your wardrobe after you’ve been taking breaths on this planet for a certain number of years. Something about turning 40, 50, 60 has this magical effect of erasing our identities and replacing them with who we think society says we should be.
There is an entire industry for how to dress women over 40 because we’ve been convinced there is this line in the sand.
There is no magical transformation. When I turned 40 I didn’t stop being me. And changing the way I dress won’t make me become someone else (I’ve tried it). I am still me, I still love the same things, and I feel most comfortable and confident in my skin when I dress in an authentic way.
My favorite top when I was 7 was a white tee with bold diagonal blue stripes. I still love white, blue is still my favorite color, I buy striped shirts like it’s my job, and I adore diagonal. I wear all those elements today!
In seventh grade I had a pair of black patent snake skin flats, and I ADORED THEM. I still love black, shiny, and snake skin.
How I wore those elements now and how I wore them then will look different, but what I love hasn’t changed.
Subtle Sabotage
Style has been one of the constantly changing things throughout the centuries, and it dictates whether you are in or out. In or out of style, the club, the peer group, it is the line in the sand between acceptable and unacceptable…but why?
The fashion industry should be about making us look and feel our best, beautiful, comfortable, functional, but it’s actually about making us feel like we are behind, wrong, and out.
When you are confident in your style and the clothes in your closet, you don’t buy new ones unless the old ones wear out, and that’s not profitable for the fashion industry. They need you to buy more every season.
We laugh at the women who suffered through corsets and stays that restricted breathing and required another human being to bind you so tight you might pass out, and the women of King Louis the XV’s and XVI’s court who wore heels so high they had to be supported by an attendant on either side to walk, but what styles have we worn that restrict us in similar ways?
Even if you knew your style before, suddenly you don’t. Whether your new lifestyle means new style needs, like going from the corporate world to being a stay-at-home mom, or something else has rocked your world, changing your style seems to be one of the first ways to try to gain control of your tailspinning life.
It feels easy and achievable BECAUSE YOU CAN BUY IT, but if you don’t have a solid foundation of your personal style, it can confuse things even more. Once again the question comes up, “Everything is changing! Do I need to reinvent my style??”
Jeans so low cut and tight that bending over reveals your backside and pushes your belly up, out, and over? Bags so tiny they hold nothing but cost a month or two of mortgage payments? Why do we do this? So we aren’t out.
Why do they undermine us this way while claiming to support us? Because that is how they make money. They want us to spend, spend, spend, and we only do that when we are dissatisfied. The only way to make us dissatisfied is to change what is in and out every season.
So each season when the changes, whether big or small, happen, an inner voice whispers, “Oh no! I was almost in, and now I’m out again! Do I need to reinvent my style??”.
The Answer Is…
The answer is…still no. It’s time for some style self-esteem. Last week we talked about the fashion rules and how to make your own. Once you have your own fashion rules, knowing what you truly love to wear, what makes you look and feel your best, what you are comfortable in, you can see these changes for what they are: marketing.
You might love the changes! They can be a much-needed shift to relieve boredom, bring back an old favorite, get rid of something you hated (but wore anyway) or introduce something new that you didn’t know you loved! If you do love them, incorporate them into your style, wear them, love them, and feel amazing.
If you hate the changes, you can give yourself permission to easily ignore them, and move forward confident in your own style rules.
Not only do your own style rules define what you do and don’t love, they give you permission to wear it confidently, and that makes all the difference. How do style leaders convince us to turn our closets upside down every three months? By declaring it confidently. And that makes us believe them.
When you wear your style rules confidently, everyone around you will accept them, and you. When you are in with yourself, you’re never out with anyone else.
Find Your Confidence
If you are tired of asking yourself, “Do I need to reinvent my style?”
I have a free masterclass to get you started with figuring out what you do and don’t like called “5 Steps to Find the Right Clothes for You.” You’ll get a free workbook to take you through the steps at your own pace. Once you know your style, it’s so easy to define what you love and don’t! When you can see WHY you do and don’t wear and love certain things, you can write your own style rules and give yourself permission to follow them.
Join My Top masterclass today!
This masterclass is a must attend if you...
- Want to look at a clothing item and instantly know if it's right for you
- Want a checklist so you don't have to remember the details
- Want to know how to navigate trends
- Want a wardrobe that feels like you
- Want to know exactly what you love and don't, no matter what type of clothing it is (dressy, casual, swimwear, etc.)
- Want to know what to keep and what to purge during a closet clean out
