Your Body Deserves Love
I sat in my closet crying because I had to pack for a business trip and NONE OF MY CLOTHES FIT. Especially my pants. After Covid, I hadn’t been able to get out of bed, much less get dressed, for a few months, and apparently I had gained enough weight to bump me up two sizes. I was angry and I felt betrayed by my body. How could you do this to me? And what am I supposed to wear?
I called my friend, and instead of joining me in berating my body for letting me down, she said, “Go buy some pants that fit you.” What? NO! I have a closet full of pants that fit a couple of months ago, and I AM NOT buying new ones! My body doesn’t DESERVE that! I argued and argued with my friend about this topic, and then she said, “Well if I called you with the same problem, what would you tell me?”
There is nothing worse than being fed your own excellent advice during a righteously indignant…tantrum. Because, let’s be honest, that’s what I was having. A good, old-fashioned, fist-hammering, toddler tantrum. She was right. My body didn’t do anything wrong.
This article and the video below are taken from the Stunning Style Weekly Style Snack! Join us Wednesdays at 1pm ET on the Stunning Style Facebook page or the FREE Capsule Wardrobes for Classic Style Facebook Group.
Change is Okay
Our bodies change for various reasons! In my case, being bed-ridden and probably eating more than I normally do added up to two pant sizes. Sometimes it’s because of hormones, aging, lifestyle changes, having a baby, or the cycle of the moon. And for all of my preaching to all of you to love your bodies just as they are, right now, today, I sure didn’t do a good job in that moment, did I?
After her wise counsel, I went out and bought a few pairs of pants in my favorite neutrals. Because I’m a pear, I know the weight distribution will be mostly on bottom, so I tried on my tops to see which ones still fit and pulled those out. Essentially I made myself a capsule wardrobe for my current size so I could leave the bedroom.
But do you know what else happened? I suddenly felt and looked much better! When we try to squeeze into clothes that are too small, it makes us look terrible, and feel even worse. Those 20 pounds looked great. I like that I have more curve in my rear again. Forcing my way into pants that were too small skewed my perception.
This one change was so impactful that I made a reel about it to show you.
I know women who refuse to by themselves nice clothes unless they are at a size they deem acceptable. We will never get where we want to go by hating and punishing our bodies. Does this mean you can’t have goals to be healthy and fit? Of course not! It does mean loving your body along the way and treating it with kindness and respect.
So today, I want you to start talking to yourself the way you would talk to your best friend. What would she say to you about your body? What would she tell you to do today?
This month is all about loving and appreciating our bodies. It’s a message that I share regularly, but all month long we are going to focus on this topic specifically. I hope you’ll join me, and I want you to start right now by sharing one thing you love about your body with me in the comments.
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11 thoughts on “Appreciating Our Bodies”
Thank you so much for this article and topic. We all need to be reminded /told to quit beating ourselves up, and punishing ourselves for gaining back the few pounds we lost. I watched the short video, and the visual example of what a higher waisted pants and a size larger vs the lower waist and snug pants, you look so much shapelier in the high waist that fits. Thank you for the positive thoughts.
Just recently found you, so glad I did. Pants, oh pants, most of my life I was a size 6, then with each decade a size larger. Now I am 61 and am hovering between a 12-14. I feel betrayed by my body. I just don’t want to buy new pants for each new season. I will try to adopt some of your ideas. I need to go shop and find pants to fit me. Right now I am sitting at my desk in uncomfortable pants. The belly fat with menopause makes fitting into pants so difficult. I still want to look nice but feel the only pants I am comfortable in are sweats. Losing weight is almost impossible now.
Thank you. I needed this message SO badly right now! I love that my body is getting stronger, and it gets me where I need to go. I also love my smile. AND, thanks to one of your videos, I actually like my pear shape for the first time in my life (and have a better idea of how to dress it). Thanks for all you do, April.
It’s hard to love your body if you have the wrong size or preconceived notions of what you should be like. After losing slots of weight, I panic when I go up a few pounds and am miserable. I like the idea of preplanned mini capsules to deal with what are normal changes.
Thank you!! This reminds me of something my mom used to tell us – “Nobody can see the size on your tags!” I’ve gained 15 pounds in the past year due to a combination of things, and I’ve been feeling so awful about myself. I’ve always been a size 8 or 10 and was fine with being a curvy girl, but somehow having to buy size 12 was just not OK for me. I decided to accept myself the way I am now, even if I would rather be smaller. So I bought new pants that fit!
At 68, I weigh 30 lbs. more than I did in my 40s. So, I buy 10s instead of 6s, Ls instead of Ms. Fine. An additional 10 lbs. put on during COVID shutdown now restricts me to only the roomiest 10s. After repeatedly getting frustrated (and delayed) putting on pants that didn’t fit, I isolated those annoying pairs and organized a stack of those that fit well. I only go to those pants now and don’t get frustrated. I look just as nicely dressed and styled and still receive compliments when out and about. Style and looking pretty have little to do with size or shape. It’s how you dress. On a far more important point, my body works, for which I am thankful every day. I would have one heck of a nerve feeling sorry or angry about weight gain when people have REAL problems and SERIOUS challenges. Wisdom comes with age! Excellent topic.
Thank you so much for talking about this. Often this is seen as taboo about talking about our own body changes. I haven’t been looking a your facebook group for awhile as I didn’t like what was happening to my own body. It’s just I wanted to fade into the background and be just gray and we need to put everything in a box and we shouldn’t. Thank you for your talk today. You are fantastic…
I love that I am tall so when my weight fluctuates it is less obvious (to others) and I try to remember that vs. dwelling on it.
That’s a fantastic visual confirmation that clothing size is just a number – you don’t even look any different. I had to watch the reel three times before I noticed any change, and then the only change I did notice was the pant length! Glad you’re feeling better now – you’re certainly looking great! xx
Thank you for sharing this. I have recently decided to keep some key items in a size larger and smaller since hormones and mid-life changes can cause me to fluctuate up or down just enough that my favorite things don’t fit right. I now know I will always have something on hand that will fit and make me feel great. I wish I had done this years ago instead of always striving to be the smaller size.
I’m a little late to this party, but the message is so timely for me! I’m struggling with my spring/summer wardrobe choices, even with all the amazing the Society content, because I don’t think anything will look good on me at all. My mindset that needs a change for the better. One thing I love about my body? It’s the roadmap of a heroine’s journey.