If you aren't sure how to find your style, start with one simple step
How to find your style in an unexpected way
“Mommy, what is that girl doing?”
I was entertaining my two youngest with a game of “I spy” while standing in an eternal line at Disneyland, waiting to get on the Mater ride. They spied a 20-something girl get on the ride alone. She spent the entire ride taking selfie after selfie, making the duck face, flipping her hair, boosting her cleavage, and adjusting her Minnie Ears. It was like a caricature or SNL spoof, but it was real.
“She’s, uh….”
I was searching for words to explain her odd behavior. “She’s…taking a picture.”
After waiting in line for an hour she missed the ride.
Selfies get a bad rap for exactly those types of situations (and we’ve all witnessed them). While taking your very own Kardashian-inspired selfie every 5 steps is ridiculous, there is a place in our lives for the much-mocked selfie. Since I started my journey to find my style several years ago, I’ve taken a picture of my outfit almost every day.
Before this, I had never taken a selfie. I just didn’t do that, and I certainly don’t plaster my (personal) Facebook wall with them. At first I only shared my outfit selfies with my sister-in-law, and now I share them here, though it is still gut-wrenching. Taking a daily outfit picture can help you find your style faster than you might think.
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How can selfies help you find your style?
Taking these pictures over the last few years had an even bigger impact than I realized. As I flip through them, I can see where I got it right, and where I went very, very wrong. At first I started with a very Minimal Classic look, because that is what I’ve always been drawn to, and how I dressed before I lost myself in motherhood. But then I thought I had to be more…awesome. More Insta-worthy. More pinnable. More not me, as it turned out.
I finally centered myself and came back to Minimal Classic and started incorporating my Edgy Classic details, but usually in subtle ways, like a textured sweater, some pointy patterns on my shirt, zippers, stabby jewelry, or destroyed jeans (LOVE!). Some days I add in some Sporty Classic if it suits my mood or my activities.
There are some days that I feel more fierce and other days more minimal, and it really shows in my selection for the day. Tracking these outfits has helped me fine-tune my style and my wardrobe. This is especially important to me because I’ve reduced the size of my wardrobe dramatically to a capsule wardrobe.
The bulk of it is done, and now I’m refining. Taking the pictures helps me see the trends of what I wear and love over and over again, and what really flatters me. I finally arrived where I’ve been trying to get my whole life: classic with an edgy twist.
1. In picture one I had returned to my Minimal Classic style. Very tailored and timeless pieces and a fairly neutral color palette. I need some edgy details, and the sandals are too curvy for my preference, but otherwise this outfit is just right for me.
2. The second picture I was trying so hard to be so awesome. It hurts to look at this picture. Too much color and the details were all wrong. The cut of the cardigan. The fact that I don’t actually like cardigans. Or yellow. The crochet pattern and gathering on the shirt are all wrong for me.
3. This outfit is perfect for me. It’s a neutral color palette of black and white. I have an Aztec-type design on my tee and stabby jewelry to bring in the Edgy Classic, and I love the combo of the high shine silver and the textured jute on the wedges.
What I Learned By Taking An Outfit Selfie Every Day
My Color Palette
Through these pictures I realized that I mostly wear some combination of black, white, and blue, especially in the colder months. Cobalt blue, turquoise blue, navy blue, blue, blue, and blue. In three weeks, there were only 3 outfits that had another color added, and it was red or pink.
As I went back through 6 weeks of outfits, and that was still the trend. It seems like once a week I bust out some really colorful combination, but for the most part it’s black, white and blue, which has always been my favorite color. I shared 14 black and white outfit ideas to show how you can keep a neutral color palette interesting.
This is not intentional, it’s just what I like, and understanding that helps me in so many ways. Shopping is a breeze because I know yet another black, white or blue item will get a lot of use because those are my staple items. Packing takes me no time. Since I only pack in a carry on for all of my trips, knowing what my core items will be and what I wear the most is critical. See my packing posts here, here and here.
Trends Of What I Love
The pictures have helped me see my true style. It’s hard for me to share my pictures, even three years later, and now on a much larger scale with my blog and social media. My stomach flips and lurches every time I do it, but I hope someone else can learn from my mistakes, be inspired by my style, and find their own truth and style sooner.
What I Like On Someone Else vs. What I Like On Me
I fell into the trap of trying to wear what I admired on someone else, thinking it would be just as cute on me, and it didn’t work. They are often very different, and I can finally stop trying to wear things that I admire on others because now I know what is right for me.
I’ve learned that I can’t stand to wear skirts that flare. I had a whole collection of them and never once wore them out of my closet. I put them on and took them off immediately. I like pencils skirts and straight lines. I started buying flared skirts because I liked how they looked on other people. So cute! So cute on OTHER people. Not so cute on me.
My extensive collection of the Jackie cardigan from J. Crew, in all the colors, wound up in my Poshmark closet because I realized I don’t like that style on me. It’s too Cute Classic in style, too bulky on the sides, and the crew neck interferes with the neckline of most of my tops. I prefer slim-cut, duster cardigans that hang straight. Anything with circles or round shapes isn’t for me.
Soft Classic items that flows or have too much fabric make me feel like an imposter. I like triangles, squares, hexagons, geometric shapes, and anything with elbows and pointy parts. If I can’t use my jewelry in an assassination attempt, it’s not the right piece for me.
1 & 4. This outfit could be so cute ON SOMEONE ELSE. I hate flared skirts, gathers, and polka dots on me. A Cute Classic woman would look adorable in this. I felt ridiculous.
Outfit #4 is the same idea, but more me. The dress is a slimmer, more tailored fit, and the accessories are Edgy or Minimal.
2 & 5. A Soft Classic woman would probably love the crochet details and shorter, flared sleeves. It gave me anxiety, and in the 2 years I owned this, I wore it for half a day before I took it off.
Outfit #5 is a neutral outfit with a white top and denim bottoms, but the top has the assymetrical edgy details, instead of the soft flowy details
3 & 7. There is so much happening in this outfit I don’t know where to look first. The random polka dots, the big necklace, the studs on my jeans or the patent red shoes with the bows? This was another outfit where I was trying too hard…and it showed.
Outfit #7 I’m wearing a black and white leopard tee that is just as busy as the polka dots, but the leopard pattern suits me. I’m also not wearing a ton of other details. I have a pop of red in my belt instead of the shoes, no necklace, and neutral staples in the rest of the outfit. The top is the only real focal point, and the red belt is right below it, instead of on my feet so the eyes can rest in one area.
4 & 8. This is a very classic outfit in theory, but I don’t like cardigans, or boyfriend jeans, or Converse. They look great on other women, and that’s why I bought these items. But they are all wrong for me.
Outfit #8 is very classic, and very me. I’m wearing a jacket instead of a cardigan, tailored jeans, and edgy sneakers.
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Daily selfies help me find my style - and one more thing...
Today it is so easy for me to shop now that I know these things, and I learned them by taking selfies every day. It helped with my hair styles to see what I want different next time. I can see what makeup is flattering, what clothing styles suit my body type, everything.
But guess what else I have? A gallery of outfits I LOVE! Save your greatest hits in an album on your phone, and when you are in need of an easy winner, scroll and choose! I’ve done this MANY times.
Try taking pictures of your outfits. This article gives great tips if you are new to the selfie game, but just standing in front of a full-length mirror (they sell them at Wal-mart for less than $10) is the easiest way. You don’t have to share them with a soul. They can be just for you, but I guarantee you will learn from them, and it might help you find your own style more quickly. Duck face optional.
Do you take selfies? How have they helped you?
28 thoughts on “How To Find Your Style With One Simple Trick”
This is great advice! I stopped (for the most part) taking pics of my outfits when I stopped sharing them on the T4 OOTD FB board, but you’re right: it’s so helpful and informative to be able to go back and evaluate a series of your own outfits for what works and what doesn’t. I’m going to start keeping a photo record of my daily outfits again, just for me!
Megan it will be such a powerful tool for you. Even now I can look back a few weeks when I felt so great about how I looked and compare it to last week when I was so tired and didn’t give it as much thought or effort. I can see the difference. Thanks for sharing!
I just had an epiphany! I’ve loved cardigans, but quite often, i feel too cute in them and i certainly don’t consider myself cute. i also love them as a classic, polished look, but still they seem too cute. I may have to rethink many of my cardigans in favor of jackets and more!
That’s awesome! I love epiphanies. I’ve discovered the only cardigans I like are duster cardigans that hang straight. I have 2 and they get a lot of use, but jackets are still my favorite.
This is so smart.!!!!even if i wont take pictures daily its a great way to evaluate your style.thank you thank you!!!
You’re welcome! I hope you give it a try!
I love your pants. I would like to know the brand and or where you find them.I have Talbots pants that I love,but I am on the search for casual navy ankle pants. I am not having much luck unless I want to spend $$$.
I hate taking selfies, and feel so vain when I do. I don’t like being preoccupied with my appearance. I just realized, with your blog, that selfies can help evaluate what I look and feel good and confident in. I’m clumsy at putting a great wardrobe together. You’ve given me new insight for reasons to use a tool I’ve neglected. Thanks!
A great read that puts some puzzle pieces in place for me! I have linebacker shoulders and very few blazers work for me – I put them on and NEVER leave the house in them. Need to find what works for me!
Marty that’s great! I’ve never been able to wear blazers either. They never feel right on me, even though I love them on others.
After reading your comment about sweaters, I think it applies to me as well. I have been wearing jackets to work all summer. The other day I put on a cardigan. It is a color I love, but something felt off about it. Maybe I need something more structured. Unfortunately, I do not know where to find jackets in the colors of my sweaters: kelly green, orange, royal blue and magenta/hot pink.
Figuring out those details makes a huge difference! It can be challenging to find jackets in those colors, but when I find one I snatch it up! I’m looking for hot pink.
Thank you for this post!
I began taking photographs of my different outfits a few months ago. They are not selfies — family members took photos for me from both the front and back. What an eye-opener! We think our outfit looks great, but the photos sometimes demonstrate that it doesn’t look the way we thought it did.
It’s so true what you say! Some styles and items look great on OTHER people. And I guess that’s why we can’t follow all trends; some just aren’t for us.
My photos helped me realize that I look WAY better in skirts than in pants, for instance, and I donated some shoes when I saw that they looked wrong with all of my outfits.
I have been able to make giant steps in figuring out my best (and worst) looks by studying the photos. I keep the “bad” photos too, because I know that I otherwise would forget what doesn’t work and why. : )
I am glad to have found your blog. I like how you think and write, and the honesty of this post was fabulous. Thank you so much for sharing.
That’s great! It’s amazing what you can see in a picture that you can miss in a mirror. I still sometimes go change something about my outfit after I take my picture. I can suddenly see that thing that was off. I love that you are figuring out your best looks, and thank you so much for reading!
Great article! You can also track outfits easily in the smart closet app – a great addition to taking selfies and it gives you stats as to what pieces you wear the most (by item and by look).
That’s a great suggestion. Thanks! I’ve looked at apps like that and they can take some time to set up and get everything in there, but I can see how helpful it would be. It’s on my list of things to try.
This is a wonderful post. I love all the pics and the comparisons of outfits. I still have not found my “perfect” style and I am 70! I find I like classic looks the best. I never take selfies but I am going to try it to see if it helps me determine my best syle. Thank you for taking the time to share your knowledge with us.
Hi Glenda! Definitely give it a try – it helps so many of us see the truth!
Thank you so very much for sharing! I just found you via Pinterest, and I’m loving your classic style twist posts. I’m a little confused as to what my own style is because I love too many different things, (I did the quiz and I’m mostly the cute with a dose of edgy but I love and wear a lot of soft… 🤷♀️). This daily selfie is a really helpful suggestion. Thank you again. I love your style, by the way. It wouldn’t work for me at all, but it’s awesome on you.
Welcome! I’m so glad you found me, and that the Classic Style Twists are helping you figure out your own Twist. The power of the selfie is real! It will help you figure things out much faster. I hope to hear more about your journey. Have you joined my free Facebook Group? https://www.facebook.com/groups/classiccapsuleconversations It’s the perfect place to explore this.
The ‘classic’ styles frequently recommended after you turn 30 suit neither my form nor, more importantly, my personality. Am very short and not petite, so structured items simply look dumb and add bulk where I don’t need it. So glad this article didn’t spruik the ‘classic’ notion as the go-to.
I like how you show good outfits and then what the thoughts and charges were that made great outfits. I would love to know the brand of the white top with asymmetrical edgy details.
I liked this post. Great tips.
My thing is I’m tired of pants, but if I wear a soft casual skirt or dress,everyone thinks I’m dressed up.
I don’t wear shorts. All of your “good” pics are a style I like also.
Thanks so much for the tip on taking photos of you wearing the clothes. It makes sense since photos will show you different angles and how other people will see the outfit. My niece has recently been experimenting with clothes and I think maybe these tips might help her. I’ll have to find shops where she can find a unique style that fits her.
O.K., so you show us some great outfits, where can I purchase these items?
Hi Diane, Many of the items April wears come from her Seasonal Wardrobe Guides, which are for subscribed members of the Stunning Style Society.
Doors to join the Society open four times a year, and the doors will open for Fall in a few short weeks! Join the waitlist to be the first to know when they are open for new members, and learn more about the Society here: https://stunningstyle.com/society
This blog and this post are awesome. I love that you showed what didn’t work and what worked for you. I fall into a similar style as you – and I love that you wear skinny jeans- now I am not sure how old this post is, but what I do know is that your blog is telling everyone to dress their style, for what works for them. This is the best advice ever. I tend to buy a lot of bold color stuff cause it looks cute on others also, but in true form, I am neutral loving gal. Blue, gray, khaki, olive, black, and white. Pops of color or patterns in shoes, or belts are the way to go for myself also. Thank you for confirming this, to do what works for you.
I think I will try this but question 4 out of 7 days I’m in scrubs how do I figure out my style with most of my days being uniforms and days off unless have to go somewhere in lounge stuff at home? What if like different looks or bits and pieces of different looks?