Why I Don’t Follow Trends – Knowing My Own Style

Knowing my own style

wearing the right Trends can help you feel and look modern, as long as you don't disappear

When do you embrace or discard a trend?

“What do you think about this?” I asked my friend as I held up a cobalt blue scarf. 

She examined it carefully, and said, “This color really came in style about three years ago, but it’s definitely on its way out.” 

Without hesitation, I blurted, “Oh, I don’t care about that. I love this color, and it looks amazing on me. I’ll wear it until I die. I was wondering more what you thought of the fabric. I typically don’t buy acrylic, but I love the weave.”

Because I admire her taste so much, there was a time when her statement would have had a different impact on my choices. She gave me her thoughts on the fabric and weave and we moved on. I ended up not getting it because of the acrylic (and the fact that it pills immediately), but not because some mystery council of fashion experts has deemed that this color is on its way out. I am no longer at their mercy.

Nailing my style has given me the confidence to ignore trends that don’t work for me. If you’re not sure what your Classic Style Twist is, you can take the quiz below to find out!

Black and white outfit ideas gingham 3

Wear what you love

I buy what flatters me, what I like, what makes me look stunning, and makes me feel confident. Looking back over the years, when I was being true to myself, it was much the same as it is now: black, white and blue, classic with a bit of edge, bold pure hues/Winter colors. Tailored clothing and statement jewelry make my heart sing. Stripes are my favorite color. Loving classic style could make me look old-fashioned, but it’s the details that allow me to dress classic without looking dated.

Muted, earthy colors and loose baggy shapes are on trend with the current boho thing, but those make me look and feel terrible. I don’t like them on me, so I won’t wear them. For others, they are the perfect colors and shapes, and they SHOULD wear them, even when bold hues and tailored silhouettes are “in style.” 

It is so liberating to know the difference between what I like on someone else versus what I like for myself, which is a problem I had for several years. When I tried to wear the clothes that looked fantastic on other people, I looked and felt ridiculous and frustrated. Why didn’t it work for me? Learn how to find your style with one simple trick.

Leopard is right up there with stripes as my favorite pattern, and I let other style programs tell me I couldn’t wear it. Well they were wrong, and I found the perfect leopard for a classic style woman, and I wear leopard print outfits ALL. THE. TIME. While leopard print is always classic, it’s also super trendy right now. It suits me, so I’m taking full advantage!

Red sweater and leopard flats

How did i lose myself?

How did that happen, how did I loose my beauty sixth sense? Why did I give away my authority for so many years? Everything changed when I had kids. Starting out motherhood with triplets was a huge transition (but honestly, going from zero to one baby is a huge transition). 

I went from working in a business professional office to being a stay-at-home mom, and I didn’t have the wardrobe for it – not even a pair of jeans. Having kids and what it did to my body made me feel frumpy, and nothing I owned even fit me.

Suddenly, I felt very lost and unsure of my identity in every way. In my mind, being a mom meant I had to stop being me, disappear as a person, give up my identity and become Their Mom. And as Their Mom, I needed to blend into the background and do my duties quietly. I tried to change who I was by changing how I dressed – softer, more muted. Add 3 more kids in quick succession and I had no time to find myself again. 

Black and white stripe turtleneck and blue purse

Now I’m back! I know who I am, I embrace my identity, and I dress to reflect it. As trends come and go, I embrace the ones that work with my personal style, and unapologetically dismiss the ones that don’t. 

I love bold red lips, destroyed jeans, edgy hairstyles and leather. Some people (let’s be honest – it’s other women. Why do we judge each other?) think I’m too old for that. “Destroyed jeans, leather and zippers are for college girls, not a mom of six kids.” Says who? I love them. Edgy Classic details make me feel like me, and I won’t let anyone tell me I can’t wear what makes me look and feel my best.

Now I have a curated capsule wardobe that reflects my personal signature style, and I leave the house looking stunning and feeling confident in 20 minutes or less every day.

If you want the easy button to curate a Classic Style wardrobe that is perfectly you, the Stunning Style Seasonal Wardrobe Guides are the perfect solution!

I'm not here for the trends

All of this also means my website isn’t a place to find the latest fads. You will never see me in blush and bashful, off-the-shoulder tops, shapeless sweaters, ruffles, florals, swingy tops, flirty dresses, mini skirts, bows, fringe, pleats, peplum, pom poms, or polka dots. They’re NOT ME!

In my line of work that is a hard line to draw in the sand because many of my peers view their job as showcasing the latest and greatest of what is in the stores. They put together outfits that are up and coming or so on-point, much like a fashion magazine, and they do it well. It works for them.

I see myself in a different role, showing you what I wear every day as a work-from-home mom of six kids who are in school full time, and reminding you that you can be stylish and put together in easy-to-wear and easy-to-wash clothes that get along with your life. That includes remaining true to myself and my style, and helping you do the same.

My wardrobe fits my life, not the other way around. From there you can gain inspiration from what appeals to YOU. You might like a color combination I tried, but in a softer version of those colors. Swap out my edgy details for Soft Classic details and make it all your own. 

All the things I can’t bring myself to wear could be all the things you love to wear, and if you do, WEAR THEM. Wear them for as long as they bring you joy and make you feel and look wonderful, wear them in the way that reflects who you truly are, and don’t stop wearing them because you changed jobs, turned another year older, had a baby, or a grandbaby. Be genuine, be you, no matter what the magazines and blogs are showing, including mine.

how to find your style color palette

Looking for Classic Style Inspiration?

If you took the Classic Style Twist quiz above and want to learn more about your Twists, I share all the details for how to achieve those looks and create your signature style. 

What do you wear that is “out of style” but is totally you? Tell us and let’s celebrate our unique, individual styles!

Join the conversation!

Discuss capsule wardrobes and classic style with a fun community of like-minded women in the Capsule Wardrobes for Classic StyleFacebook group

This post may contain affiliate links, which means if you purchase through my links I get a small commission, but it doesn’t cost you anything extra. Thanks for supporting my blog!

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12 thoughts on “Why I Don’t Follow Trends – Knowing My Own Style”

  1. Bingo.I was at a music festival last weekend in Toronto,the trendiest of the trendy.I noticed that everyone was wearing those high waisted pants that have made a resurgence.Count me out.They looked ridiculous then and no better now,for me anyway.

    1. Stunning Style

      High waisted pants are such a no no on me. I am so short waisted that they would double as a top. Plus, they make you rear look so long! Most women can’t get away with that. I will also be passing on that trend.

  2. Great post. Goes along with that line you had in a post a few back about being a great mom in your own way (more on the serious side) and it made me think how it took me a really long time to realize that for myself, too! I still struggle sometimes with wanting to be like some other mom that I admire, but then I have to remind myself that I can’t be what I am not.

    1. Stunning Style

      Rachel, exactly! I’ve been working so hard to celebrate who I am, my strengths and contributions, instead of beating myself up for not being like someone else. This is who I am, and that’s perfect for me.

  3. This is so important. I didn’t really develop my own sense of style until halfway through college – a result of several years of private school uniforms and my own mother’s eye for trends. Once I had my own income, I realized that my sense of confidence was significantly bolstered now that I could choose exactly what I wanted to purchase and wear, and I began to slowly purge my high school closet. My mom is still consistently surprised by what I like and don’t like, but I think it’s more valuable to have a mind of your own.

    1. Stunning Style

      Kaelen I love that you are finding what is perfect for you. It is so natural to dress those around us the way we want to dress. Moms do it to their kids, wives do it to their husbands, friends do it to friends. The last couple of years, now that my kids are old enough to start caring what they wear (and even with my youngest), I’ve started asking for their input on what I buy them. I want them to be able to develop their own sense of style as they grow. They love helping choose. I still offer guidance and boundaries based on budget and appropriateness, but they get a lot of say.

  4. I really enjoyed your article, it is so refreshing and real. We do not need to be slaves to fashion, but enjoy what suits our bodies and lifestyle.

  5. Stunning Style

    Exactly, Diane! It can be easy to get sucked in when we are surrounded by trends that are so different from our personal preferences. We are all individuals. Let’s dress the part!

  6. I have been loving these articles and the capsule wardrobe. For someone who is 73, it has taken this long to find what really works for me. Having just discarded 15 pounds has given me the incentive to really choose clothes that work. Getting compliments doesn’t hurt either!

    1. Corinne that’s fantastic! Finding what works for you – and getting compliments on top of it – feels so great! I’m so glad you are enjoying these articles and that they are helping you on your journey.

  7. I have been wearing midi or tea length skirts and dresses ONLY, since the early 1980s. (I guess I may be giving away my age here.) I feel that I am tall enough to carry the length. I do not love the look of my knees (or the varicose veins in the back of them) and my unsymmetrical calves, so I do not wear knee length skirts or above. This is complicated by my inability and refusal to wear heels, because I want to see proportions that look balanced to me, and fashion photos usually show heels. But I would rather be able to walk comfortably and gracefully. And I always choose capris over shorts. I have been happy with my choices, even when it has been very difficult to find skirts or dresses in my preferred length. Thanks for encouraging us to have a personal style.

    1. Jan, it sounds like you know exactly what you like, and wear it beautifully! It’s not always easy to go against the fads, or find what we want when it’s not trendy, so it’s awesome that you have been able to stick to what you love.

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